Erik. i made some really good steak this one time. i reblog too much.
- making people forget about object permanence
- growing a wing. just one. fly around in circles
- summoning vaseline
- changing the colour of objects into their complimentary colour
- super speed but only when drunk
- instantly mastering the swear words in any language
a lot of fedora-type dudes don’t actually wear fedoras, you just know them from the way they are. it’s like a personality fedora. an internal fedora
It’s their fedaura.
*gets job as a stripper* *gets on stage in 3000 sweaters*
Get ready for some all night entertainment
yeah that’s true, but is it tru
"You don’t have many followers"
Jesus only had 12
so airplanes officially banned tweezers. honestly i think anyone that can hijack an airplane with a pair of tweezers deserves the airplane
me when I got money: ha! broke ass bitch how the dollar menu taste? I wouldn’t know because it’s Big Macs only around here hoe!!!!
me when I’m broke: capitalism is inhumane and must be put to an end.
i had the most surreal experience of my life at the mall i was standing by one of those god forsaken meme t-shirt stands and a sweaty pre-teen boy pointed to a shirt and yelled “gandam style” and started to half-heartedly do the dance without taking his eyes off of the shirt. his face was so red. he was tired.