1. dajo42:

    interesting superpowers

    • making people forget about object permanence
    • growing a wing. just one. fly around in circles
    • summoning vaseline
    • changing the colour of objects into their complimentary colour
    • super speed but only when drunk
    • instantly mastering the swear words in any language
    Reblogged from: sirenwithcoldbuttcheeks
  2. kunamathesilverfilly:

    archicide:

    a lot of fedora-type dudes don’t actually wear fedoras, you just know them from the way they are. it’s like a personality fedora. an internal fedora

    It’s their fedaura.

    Reblogged from: sirenwithcoldbuttcheeks
  3. whatgoesthroughmyhead:

    let’s get the real shit up in this bitch

    also this

    Reblogged from: whatgoesthroughmyhead
  4. goldenclitoris:

    *gets job as a stripper* *gets on stage in 3000 sweaters*
    Get ready for some all night entertainment

    Reblogged from: cheeze713
  5. joshpeckofficial:

    yeah that’s true, but is it tru

    Reblogged from: dutchster
  6. tanyart:

who decides the photographs at the beginning of each chapter.

    tanyart:

    who decides the photographs at the beginning of each chapter.

    Reblogged from: clestroying
  7. Reblogged from: svveden
  8. fvming:

    "You don’t have many followers"

    Jesus only had 12

    Reblogged from: happiest
  9. zeusyallday:

    so airplanes officially banned tweezers. honestly i think anyone that can hijack an airplane with a pair of tweezers deserves the airplane

    Reblogged from: hancljob
  10. kobetyrant:

    me when I got money: ha! broke ass bitch how the dollar menu taste? I wouldn’t know because it’s Big Macs only around here hoe!!!!

    me when I’m broke: capitalism is inhumane and must be put to an end.

    Reblogged from: hancljob
  11. vicvondoombwhahaha:

You can’t convince me this raccoon isn’t elegantly playing the deepest sonata you’ll ever hear on a avant garde harp

    vicvondoombwhahaha:

    You can’t convince me this raccoon isn’t elegantly playing the deepest sonata you’ll ever hear on a avant garde harp

    Reblogged from: hancljob
  12. neyruto:

    i had the most surreal experience of my life at the mall i was standing by one of those god forsaken meme t-shirt stands and a sweaty pre-teen boy pointed to a shirt and yelled “gandam style” and started to half-heartedly do the dance without taking his eyes off of the shirt. his face was so red. he was tired.

    Reblogged from: hancljob
  13. Reblogged from: hancljob
  14. Reblogged from: hancljob
  15. trailerparkof-whores:

Did he just pull out his dick and drop it on them

    trailerparkof-whores:

    Did he just pull out his dick and drop it on them

    Reblogged from: officialwhitegirls
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