Erik. i made some really good steak this one time. i reblog too much.
last night i woke up because two dudes were fighting underneath my window and one dude kept screaming “BRO!! BRO YOU CALLED ME A BITCH IN FRONT OF THE WHOLE BAR BRO!! THE WHOLE BAR!! WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT BRO??” he sounded so heart broken. why bro. why did you do this.
FACT OF THE DAY: mars is called the red planet because during the cold war it sided with the communists
I’m good at math. U + I = 69
Wait that would mean that I = 59 because U sure are a 10
No. U + I = 145 as the atomic number for Uranium is 92 and the atomic number for I is 53. Cause we got chemistry.
for god’s sake why all these people are so smooth omg
when i was in year 5, i did a speech on clumsiness for my school’s public speaking contest and to be clever, i tripped on my way to the stage dropping my note cards all over the place, but then i pulled the real ones out of my pocket saying ‘if you’re going to be clumsy, it pays to be prepared!’
everyone lost their shit and i got second place
If you got second place who got first… Did they talk about fire safety and burn the stage down or something
the catholic church gives wine to 7 year olds but gay marriage is wrongI mean this is totally out of context but is technically true. It is believed to be the blood of god and they are only given 1 tiny sip once a week but otherwise this is totally correct.
the catholic church encourages 7 year olds to drink blood every week but gay marriage is wrong
IF YOU DO NOT REBLOG THIS A SKELETON WILL SNEAK INTO YOUR HOUSE AND MAKE AN ELABORATE SANDWICH AND USE THE SAME EXACT KNIFE FOR EVERY CONDIMENT WITHOUT CLEANING IT OFF
"if you’re sick and cant go to school then you cant use the computer!"
tHE MAP OF PEOPLE WHO ARE ON MY BLOG I S MAKING ME LAUGH RN
ew an american ew ew ew everyone cluster so it cant get to us ew